


Ut Sit Solus

by Werepirechick



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, M/M, Multi, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Sad, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Tension, and then it gets really dark really fast, donnie has an unfortunate life in general, its just really unfortunate, or an ending at all, post The Power Inside Her, starts really soft and nice, there isn't really a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: Donnie dreams.He dreams of something soft, something wonderful, something very near unattainable.He dreams, until it becomes a nightmare instead.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "Ut Sit Solus" translates as "To Be Alone".

 

 

Donnie blinked slowly, feeling warm and floaty. Detached, but in the best way.

He turned his head, his cheek being tickled by the red hair splayed beside him. Sky colored eyes stared back at him, gentle red freckles surrounding them like constellations. April glowed somehow, with strength and beauty both. She looked beautiful.

April smiled softly, long lashes fluttering. She slid her hand up to Donnie’s face, cupping his cheek and running her thumb over his lips.

Donnie all but melted into the touch, smiling bashfully under the tender look April was giving him. Her cinnamon sweetness, dreamy and familiar, mixed with the scent of sword oils and something like a sharp spice… he knew it well, knew it like he knew nothing else. Except…

Another hand slid over his chest, and Donnie turned to look his opposite of April.

Deep brown eyes, earth colored and just as steady, looked back at him. Casey’s grin wasn’t teasing or rakish like it sometimes was, but instead just as gentle as April’s. Lopsided ever so slightly, and familiar as anything. Tiny silver scars, from many split lips over many years, stood out just so in the light.

Donnie’s mouth curled into a different smile, for this different person.

It’d been so long. They barely talked these days, busy and otherwise occupied. Distance growing between them for some reason Donnie couldn’t identify. And after getting so close, back at the farm house, all those months ago…

Donnie’s thoughts trailed off, and the blanket of warmth banished them all together. He didn’t need to think right now; just enjoy being close with two people he wanted to know better, deeper, more intimately…

After the invasion and space and everything that happened in between, he’d missed so much of this, of being with them. Talking, laughing together, and just… being close.

Why didn’t they do that anymore?

Casey’s hand slid the rest of the way up Donnie’s chest, curling around the back of his neck, and Donnie let that thought drift away too. Instead, he let the sleepy warmth fill him again, and allowed Casey to draw him closer.

Casey’s nose brushed his, and Donnie breathed in the familiar smell his friend always had. Engine oil and leather, sometimes a hint of dust that collected in the corners of New York… like grit and rain, clinging to every step of concrete without relenting…

Donnie felt Casey’s lips brush his own, tentative and new, and-

-nothing.

Donnie felt the loss of warmth, and gasped as Casey suddenly vanished.

Gone, and no explanation why. Gone and leaving him, disappearing from sight and grasp and-

Donnie turned back to April, harried questions and worries on the tip of his tongue, but-

April’s smile had changed, turning cold and cruel. Eyes blank and filled with light no mortal creature should ever hold.

Her hands slid up Donnie’s chest, and wrapped around his throat.

Donnie couldn’t struggle, frozen as the warmth around him turned frigid, and the girl he loved tightened her hold on.

The light and softness vanished, same as Casey had, and Donnie floated in darkness. April floated with him, but she hovered higher; beginning to loom over him.

Her nails felt like talons, digging into his neck’s scales. April’s hair ghosted around her face, loose and without gravity. Weightless dread filled Donnie, as April’s smile only turned sharper at his pain.

Her gentle glow burned brighter, becoming hot and terrible as she strangled him. Donnie’s hands stung as he grasped her arms, her whole body heating up to become a contained super nova.

Donnie stared up at April’s blank, bright eyes, and tried to imagine _why_. Why she would do this, why she would choose this over him-

 _“April, please…”_ He gasped, throat closing.

April’s smile slipped, a momentary glimmer of recognition, then-

-her expression twisted into a snarl, and she screamed.

Donnie’s vision blurred, and all he could do was stare at April. The image of her sun like fury, burned forever into his memory as his very being disintegrated.

 

 

 

Donnie gasped, eyes opening to the familiar darkness of his room.

He lay there, tears sliding from the corners of his eyes, as he tried to breathe.

He felt that his blankets and sheets were tangled around him, a nearly strangling sensation. He kicked them off, freeing his legs and arms.

Donnie slowly sat up, still feeling breathless and hollow.

Steadily, his inhales became normal. Then, they hitched again, as he curled over his knees.

Donnie covered his head with his arms, and breathed shallowly. Tears dribbled onto his thighs, and his soft gasps were barely audible.

That wasn’t even the worst dream he’d had. Just one of the more painful ones.

Donnie knew his phone was on his bedside table, that he could call any one of his contacts. Specifically two of them.

He didn’t though. He couldn’t.

Donnie let himself cry for another few minutes, and then when the fit had subsided, he rubbed away the tear tracks emotionlessly.

He slid his feet off the bed, bare scales touching the cold cement of his floor. He didn’t bother with wrappings as he stood to leave; only taking his mask with him to hide the circles under his eyes.

He wasn’t going to be sleeping any time soon. Sleep offered no relief from things like this.

If he couldn’t sleep away his problems, then he’d work them away.

Donnie shut the door to his room, leaving it dark and empty.

He spent the rest of the day alone, tucked inside his lab until his family woke up.

He didn’t tell them about his dream, same as all the other ones he’d had.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hey its not like we needed feelings anyways.
> 
> my friend lulu dared me to write capritello + dream becoming a nightmare and this happened. you're welcome.
> 
> also: canon has basically fucked over capritello irreparably and i'm not pleased.  
> though, it gives me lots of fuel to write stuff like this so.
> 
> not a total loss.¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
